#||ducktective

         “Now that’s what I call a pun. I’m proud of you.” His voice oozed sarcasm—or as close to an ooze as he could rasp. “How long did it take you to spin that one? Find it on the web?”

            “...Huh. Surprisingly, you ain’t the first oversized turtle I’ve seen around these parts. Are you some kinda migrated Galapagosian species, or am I just that outta touch with my surroundings?” He cleared his throat. That was rude. “I mean, if you got that big with a workout routine and protein shakes, I think I’d like some tips. Can’t be too careful these days, y’know?”

           “What the---” Alright. Fair was fair. A planet was a big place, plenty of people to bump into. Of course, Howard would have been happier to not bump into certain individuals. Sure, they both had tenuous connections to the Collector. That didn’t mean they were best friends. He was half tempted to turn the other direction and just backtrack, but that wasn’t the classiest option. Confrontation sounded much better. And so he cleared his throat with a sound worse than nails on chalkboard. “What are you doing here?”